Archive for the ‘ Personal ’ Category

Why You Need To Cut Ties: If Your Friendships Aren’t Benefitting You, They’re Holding You Back

Interesting article , thought I would share .

Why You Need To Cut Ties: If Your Friendships Aren’t Benefitting You, They’re Holding You Back


Wellness
Paul HudsonJan 13, 2014 – 3:15pm

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Relationships are essential to leading a happy life. In fact, one could make the argument that all that matters in life is our interaction with each other. Human interaction is necessary; our minds feed off it in order to function properly. In a sense, interaction is what makes us human; healthy, strong relationships teach us to be compassionate and to value life. For this reason, it is crucial we only allow ourselves to engage in good relationships, avoiding negative ones.

However, there is always more we can do to profit from our lives and our relationships. We can focus our energy only on beneficial relationships. Good relationships can be beneficial, but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes, what we consider a good relationship would be better referred to as a relationship that isn’t bad: It’s not exactly good, but it’s not bad, so it’s good by default. The majority of us have at least one or two of these “not bad” relationships. While it may not seem like a big deal to entertain such relationships, it is.

Those who are most present in our lives become significant in our lives, whether we wish for it or not. By simply being present and by our awareness of their presence, these people become a part of our lives, part of us. The brain doesn’t so much forget as it does misfile; all the people that you’ve ever met, those you’ve even just noticed, are floating around in that head of yours, affecting your thoughts in one way or another — at least on some occasions.

You won’t notice this, of course, but our memories become points on an intricate web of memories, which connects to full thoughts and later to actions. The more present a person is in our life, the more we interact with him or her, and the more we tend to think about this person. The more we think about him or her, the more he or she influences every other thought that goes on in our heads.

Of course, who’s to say that some poor, or even terrible, relationships don’t lead to great ideas and amazing results? However, seeing as positive relationships lead to a happier you, and since a happier you is a more efficient you, it would be wise to stick with beneficial relationships.

Beneficial relationships come in many shapes and sizes, but what it comes down to is whether or not the total benefit of each relationship has a positive or negative effect on your life. It’s simple math. Take out a piece of paper and list all the perks of being in any given relationship, as well as all the ways you are worse off because of the relationship.

If the difference is positive, the relationship may be worth keeping. The values you assign to each benefit and negative impact are completely up to you. It really depends on what you value the most. For some, relationships are completely about honesty and support; for other’s, it’s all about access to a rooftop pool and a 72-inch TV on game day.

Next, you can’t forget to adjust for the tradeoffs. There is only so much time in a day, and socializing takes up a lot of time. The busier you are with other things, the less time you have to spend on friends and lovers. If we wish to have the best lives we can possibly have, then we have no choice but to prioritize our relationships.

When it comes down to it, for every relationship you have, you are technically giving up the time that could have been occupied by another social interaction, another relationship. This is the tradeoff. Statistically speaking, you’ll be happier if you keep your “close” relationships to about five.

Once you start hitting double digits, each relationship you have begins to suffer because you simply don’t have enough time to maintain them. That’s something I should have mentioned earlier: Relationships require maintenance. But you already knew that.

Deciding which relationships you should keep requires some calculation and deep thought. Usually, relationships don’t need to be cut off entirely. It’s really more about spending time on the relationships that count and, most importantly, decapitating those that are destructive. Unfortunately, this is usually easier said than done.

Even more difficult than ending friendships is cutting off romantic relationships. Usually, the more poisonous these relationships are, the more we try to hang on to them and convince ourselves that they’re actually good for us. Getting your life together takes courage; no one is saying otherwise. It really comes down to how badly you want to reach your full potential, and how happy you’ll be getting there.

7 Ways To Start The Day

 

Interesting article might help a few people .

7 Ways To Start The Day

Some people find mornings filled with optimism, while others would just as soon stay in bed until the clock passes the noon hour. 

For most, however, the workday beckons and the morning is a mad rush to get everyone ready and out the door. By the time you reach the office, you’ve probably already dealt with the stress of family, weather, traffic and other distractions. Unless everything goes perfectly, you’ll carry all that stress into your office and share it throughout the day with your employees and colleagues.

Fear not,  it is possible to get the day started right, no matter what comes your way.  Try one of these tips each day of the week or combine them. Either way, you’ll start out on your terms and be prepared to make it a great day.

1. Plan the night before. Why start your day unorganized? If you organize your to-do-list, breakfast menu and your clothes the night before, you’ll wake up feeling in control and relaxed. Taking 20 minutes to lay out everything can save you a 30-minute fashion crisis or search for the car keys. With a little efficiency, you’ll save the frustration and scrambling, leaving you ready to tackle more important issues.

2. Try 15 minutes of meditation. Some might be afraid that a meditation session early in the morning could just put you back to sleep. But genuine meditation actually stimulates the brain in a deep and thoughtful way. It allows you to clear distractions from your mind and purge negative energy. Center yourself with thoughtful introspection or prayer and be open to the positive energy the world brings your way.

3.  Begin with inspirational reading. Part of my morning ritual easily allows for reading first thing. Many read the news, which can be a sad way to start the day. Buy a few books that are uplifting, inspiring, or even humorous for your first brain stimulus. This will give you positive, fun thoughts to keep you energized throughout the day.

4. Open your eyes to fresh flowers. If the first thing you see when you wake up is a dingy wall or barren winter yard, you can certainly improve those critical few minutes with a pleasing splash of color. Research suggests that exposure to bright colors in the early morning raises your spirits and energy. So pick up a pleasant bouquet every few days and set it right in your view.

5. Trade coffee for green tea. Coffee is a great stimulant, but sometimes it can over-stimulate and the acid can make your stomach uncomfortable. Try a soothing cup of green tea to start instead. You’ll still get the caffeine you crave (just a bit less), plus healthy antioxidants. It’s cheaper and healthier than a double caramel mochaccino, too. You can still get the java mid-morning if you want it, but you may find you don’t even need it since the crash won’t be as severe.

6. Do some yoga. Exercise is a great stimulant to wake you up, and make you feel good. It’s good for the body and pumping those endorphins makes your mind happy and alert.  Cardio is great, but for the whole body approach, add a little yoga into your routine. You’ll control your breath, stretch your muscles and generate energy. Your body and mind will be one and ready to conquer the world.

7. Schedule a hopeful appointment. I never feel more energized getting out of bed than when I have an important meeting about an exciting opportunity. The prospect of a fun and productive encounter usually wakes me with a smile and often without an alarm clock. I purposefully schedule as many meetings like this as possible. That way I get as many great days as I want.

Read more: http://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/7-ways-to-start-a-great-day.html?cid=homesub1#ixzz2q3YWQFSn

This is Why Productive People Always Wake Up So Early

This is Why Productive People Always Wake Up So Early

Successful people are very often early risers. From Churchill to Obama, from Branson to Darwin, all were known to rise with the morning sun. Whatever their motivations, they all reaped the benefits of putting their feet on the floor before the cock opened its beak.

“Mind over Mattress”

Robin Sharma

But why is rising early such a common trait? What is it about “Mind Over Mattress” that attracts so many famous and successful people to its clutches? Why do they drag their tired bodies to start the day super early when the rest of us are still dreaming?

The Winner’s Mindset

There is a sense of control acquired from beating the inner voice. If your mind wins the battle between victim and success, things start on a high note and usually only get better. Recognizing the voice is your best defense against him. When the alarm goes off and the voice tells you that you went to bed far too late to get up this early, or that five more minutes won’t hurt, DON’T LISTEN! Those who stay in bed won’t be competition for the big guys, but they will have to watch out for you. When you are in charge of the inner voice, there will be no stopping you.

More Time

If you were to get up just one hour earlier each morning you would gain 15 days in a year. Scary when you put it like that. How many days of our lives do we waste sleeping? I don’t know about you, but I have too much I want to achieve to waste my life in this way. If you are time deficient, sleep less. We only need six to seven hours a night. Any more is wasting life.

Get Active

The morning is a great time to exercise. It sets you up for the day with energy, focus, and enthusiasm. Some mornings when I come back from my new habit of running, I feel invincible. Stress has to work a lot harder to get hold of me, and all my relationships are happier and calmer. Exercising in the morning will make you more productive and contribute to making you more successful.

Quiet Time

With three boys in my house, I rarely find quiet time. If I want to meditate or do something undisturbed, I do it early morning. Rising early gives me the time to fit it in. You could also use this time to write, paint, or do something else creative.

Find Your Muse

Many early risers cite increased creativity and inspiration in the morning hours. Great works of art and novels got written in the early hours of the day. So if you have a masterpiece waiting to unfold, maybe rising an hour earlier might unlock the secret.

Time for Food

Breakfast is an important meal that we often neglect due to time constraints. Rushing to work with a bagel isn’t going to give you the energy or focus required to kick ass. By taking more time in the morning, you have have a healthier meal, which will make you more productive and effective.

One Step Ahead

The early risers are one step ahead of the crowd: calm, collected, and accomplished when everyone else is rushing to the office. The early bird has it under control. When you wake up early, you have more time for planning, strategic thinking, and getting organized. You will find you waste less time from being disorganized or making bad decisions. The added benefit of getting to the office first means fewer distractions from colleagues and getting done what you planned to get done.

5Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Something I been working on a lot more for the list but I thought I start with 5 :

  1. Give Up !

Obvious but its true , if you going to succeed personally / business then quitting is never an option . This is qhy goals are so important to help you through and give you strength .

  1. Looking backwards

Looking backwards and focusing on the now . Strong individuals focus on the present moment and on tomorrow .

  1. Stay in the comfort zone

The most dangerous place for success , as it never is found there . Pushing oneself out of the comfort zine will mean new success and experiences

  1. Read & discuss for peoples opinion .

Educating oneself with ideas a point of view through education of through discussion .

  1. Change /Adapt :

Every second the world changes and as such will never be the same again . So we need to as the saying goes ‘change and adapt to survive’

 

Tony Evans , Tokyo

11th January 2014

The Five People Who Determine Your Success

The Five People Who Determine Your Success

 


(Photo credit: Mashable)

Anyone who has accomplished anything of significance didn’t do it alone. Neither should you. Think about the five people you spend the most time with and answer this blindingly simple yet imperative question: Do they make you better?

If they don’t, the question then becomes: Who does makes you better?

Who’s In Your Top Five?

Below is how you identify your Top Five — or as I have often called them, your ‘Allies of Glory’These are the people with a unique set of skills and expertise who encourage you, inspire you, empower you, challenge you and push you to be the absolute best version of yourself.

A good way to look at this is like the starting five of a basketball team. Each player has a unique role to play. Here are the key positions for you to identify:

  1. Point Guard – The Facilitator. The point guard is the floor general. They see the big picture and support you in managing the flow of information. They’re good at knowing when you can speed things up or slow things down. In short, they can see things that you can’t.
  2. Shooting Guard – The Playmaker. The playmaker is the Molotov Cocktail. They light the scoreboard up. They are in the midst of making great things happen in their life and when you need a jolt of creativity, business brainstorming or a push, they are your person. They move fast and don’t have much patience for indecision. They remind you that if you miss a shot, just keep shooting.
  3. Small Forward – The Encourager. The role player is one of the most underestimated players on a team. They do the work that many don’t see and they don’t regularly show up in the post-game statistics. But when they’re around, you always seem to be at your best. During tough spells they support you with perspective and their never wavering commitment.
  4. Power Forward – The Bruiser. As much as you love your power forward, you may equally hate them. Their genius is holding you accountable to what you said you were going to do. If you tell them you’re writing a book, they’ll ask questions like, “When will it be finished?” They are metric-based and measure success by the progress you do or don’t make.
  5. Center – The Rock. This is the veteran. When all hell is breaking loose, they help you remember what’s most important. They make sure you don’t mistake the forest for the trees. They know that goals are great but sometimes we just lose sight of why we are doing whatever we are doing in the first place. You need them to keep you grounded and supported.

Spending time with top performers isn’t always easy. Why? Because they’re going to push your buttons. They’re not going to accept excuses. They’re going to make you do what you say. They’re going to get you outside of your comfort zone. The good news is that this positive friction is where growth, development and breakthroughs happen.

Your starting five aren’t always going to be your best friends. You may not even talk daily. But when it’s time to play ball, they will bring out the best in you every time. And sure, there will be talented players on the bench, who come in from time to time. But your starting five play a key role in determining your success or lack thereof.

Don’t be afraid to work with the best. Surround yourself with greatness.

 

Courtesy of YEC

Antonio Neves is an executive coach, speaker and award-winning business journalist. He’s the founder of the consultancy THINQACTION and the co-founder of international accelerator, The Ignition Lab.

Wall Street’s Brightest Minds Share The Best Books They Read In 2013

Wall Street’s Brightest Minds Share The Best Books They Read In 2013

One of my resolution for the year is to read more books , this is a excellent list I am working throughj

Business Insider asked some of their readers their favourite  analysts, traders, and economists across Wall Street for the best books they  read over the past year.

The responses vary — from works  of fiction to nonfiction titles, both new and old.

Some deal with finance,  but most don’t, at least directly

 

How Successful People Make The Most Of Their Weekends

How Successful People Make The Most Of Their Weekends

It’s so easy to plop down on the couch on a Friday night or Saturday morning  and watch TV, but falling into these routines will suck away the few free hours  you have. Instead of doing something by default, choose to decide how your time  is spent. 

Vanderkam writes, “In a world of constant connectivity, even loafing  time must be consciously chosen, because time will be filled with something  whether it’s consciously chosen or not — and not choosing means that the  something that fills our hours will be less fulfilling than the something our  remembering selves will likely wish we’d elected to do.”

Read more on the link

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